We have an addiction to judgment. If is is not ourselves we judge, then we judge events, things or other people. Most of us grew up learning that it was necessary to judge. We had to make a decision and it better was the right, correct decision. As a result we had to look at the different options and make a judgment. Also, judgment makes things solid enough, gives them weight, makes them important. Let’s look at the effects of this.
Do you judge yourself? Are you critical of your actions, your decisions, your body, to name just a few? Do you make a difference between the two?
Actually, they are the same. We grow up with and are well entrained to being critical of us. It’s what we are supposed to do. Therefore it does not hold as much charge. What is the result of it for you? Are you getting better? Depending on your age, you should be perfect by now if it would work the way it is presented to us 🙂 The reality is, criticism or judgment don’t work. All that happens is that we feel bad about ourselves and that is killing us; it kills our creativity, our body, our money flows and so much more.
Killing may seem a drastic choice of words. That does not mean it is not true. Yes, it is not instantaneously, its a slow way in which we are killing ourselves. Judgment stops the creation of our body or our life as we would like it. There is no kindness in it. The negativity solidifies what we are judging. If you ever wondered why things don’t change or come out the way you would like them, now you know.
We are told it is important to be discerning. How do we reach discernment? It is by judging. Discrimination is a form of judgment; being part of a group requires judgment – do I have enough similarities to the criteria of the group so I can belong? Surface things become important. How often is it overlooked who the person is.
We judge people who are different. We may do it because we feel uncomfortable with someone who we do not know, who is different from us, whose culture we do not know. The world has become a village and today we are exposed to cultures that, one hundred years ago, we hardly knew about. May be we judge others so we don’t feel so bad about ourselves (when we judge ourselves harshly).
Judgment seems to create connection, we can select those people who are similar to us. Judgment also provides a stability in life as it prevents us from changing. The desire to keep things the same is strong right now. Keeping things the same does not allow progress, though. Every invention, every progress came from someone who was willing to be different, to think differently.
After having said all the above, judging or not judging, in the end, is a choice we make. It is a choice, though, that has major impact. We can continue to have wars, or other forms of separating others from us, or start to get along with each other. We can enforce sameness or begin to appreciate our differences, the richness it creates in our lives. I see both being in place. The question I have is: What future do we want to create? How do we want our lives to be? Is it the other who has to stop judging or am I willing to be the one?
Would you be willing to begin with yourself and stop judging yourself. How do I do that? you may ask. One way I do it is to see a big, huge STOP sign and make a different choice. It could be to ask what is right about this I am not getting? It could be that I find something to be grateful for, which could be what I became aware of as a result of the choice I made.
If you are interested in exploring this subject further, here are a few links to various blogs:
Thoughts in regards to the shooting in Orlando; Constructive Criticism or Destructive Judgment; Awareness or Judgment; Letting go of Judgment; The Danger of Self-judgment; 3 Tools to Avoid This Relationship – Killer: Judgment
You might be interested in this conversation on Judgment between E-Motion’s Health Ty and Dr. Dain Heer
Also, check if I currently have a workshop on Ending Judgment listed. If not, I invite you to check back every so often.